Werk Lyfe.

I recently volunteered to work on my schools yearbook-had a week to finish and pretty much nothing was done; we needed more pictures, we needed to add backgrounds, we needed to get it approved, and everything else. Clearly, my face says I am not takin this shit, but I volunteered so whatcha gonna do?!?  Completing this yearbook took so many hours of time that I didn't really want to expend on the project but I committed so I had to finish-plus my OCD kicked in gear and I had to make sure everything was even and all the students and staff were aligned.  

Monday: worked 2 hours after work
Tuesday: worked 3 hours after work
Wednesday: worked 2-3 hours (I don't remember)
Thursday: worked 7 hours after work
Friday: took a break from working on it &&& had a mental breakdown

As a teacher, there are certain expectations and things that HAVE TO GET DONE and some people don't really understand what that entails.  I can only speak for my classroom so take what I say for what it is: teachers do a lot extra for students-at least the good ones do.  Fridays are used, in my classroom, to plan/prep/clean and hold IEPS or write progress reports/DRDP/etc.  This specific Friday, though, we had a ridiculously painful staff meeting and due to that, I was unable to plan in the morning so I came in 2 hours before the meeting so everything was planned.  The staff PD was over at 11; I took a quick lunch break and grabbed food and ate-done by 11:30/11:45 and then proceeded to prep materials for the classrooms so that all the students could have what they needed for Monday. Our dramatic play area was sad and not one of the best but I had no choice and left it as it was; Monday was mostly ready and I felt myself tapping out (working until 9pm and waking up at 5 doesn't leave much time for self-care).  However, I had ANOTHER staff meeting at 1:45-mind you I had 11:45-1:45 to prepare for a weeks worth of class and write my IEPs for the next week-and that lasted 2 HOURS!! So not only did I miss out on an hour of prepping but I had to stay EXTRA after my contracted hour for a staff meeting that I don't even know how to explain.  

I got in my car, called my mom, and cried it out.  I felt like I was completely alone and I was not done by the time I left my classroom.  There was a mess on the floor, books awry, papers thrown everywhere, several days not prepped and it was a hot mess.  I had my 2-3 minute cry and I was done.  I told my mom I haven't watched TV this week, I haven't worked out this week, I haven't taken time for myself and it was weighing heavy-I tapped out, I couldnt do it.  I was fortunate to have my mom, brother, sister, and brother in law come in to help me on Sunday to finish and they saved my life.

I have a few takeaway points for this story
1) Teachers do a lot, or at least all the ones I work with and know on a personal level do.  I do a lot.  It is my job to do a lot and to care; so please don't say that we don't deserve a raise (or respect) because we get summers off.
2) Self-Care is EXTREMELY important.  In order to do my job effectively, I need to take a break from it; I will make damn sure I make all my deadlines but if I can't go to work and make a change in my kids life, then I am completely useless.  In order for me to do that, I need to take care of myself-so yeah, I will not write that IEP right now, I will watch TV or play Overcooked on the PS4.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Different Types of Parents

Image
You may or may not know that I had another son. I have also been in therapy and I had to stop since it got a little expensive (isnt that funny that mental health isnt taken seriously? Thats a post for another day).  During this therapy I learned a lot even though it was a short amount of time. Grieving my fathe rs, mom was emotionally...unstable and had her own things to learn and work through, my family has some foggy boundaries and we do not (always) respect them, just to name a few.  I was angry at my mom for a little bit of this time but I have done some healing and got through that pain and how her trauma has affected her.   Anyways, back to the birth of my second child.  My mom was there; not in the room since it was a c-section, but she was waiting in the lobby.  My oldest sister joined her and she reassured my mom to go.  She left after my fiancee facetimed her so she could see me. It isn’t that my mom didn’t care to see the baby I just had; it’s that she cared more that I was
Read more

Cellular Myofibroma

Image
  My baby had a tumor.  He had surgery to get it removed and he is okay.  It was non-cancerous. I just thought I should get all of that info out of the way because some people might just want that. Now, here is the story: Around late December 2023, Abuela noticed that Martin Julian had a bump on his chest above his right nipple.  I sent the doctor a picture late that night and said it was not something I noticed before.  We got an appointment 2-3 days later.  He then referred us to get an ultrasound and this took about two weeks to schedule.  At the appointment with our pediatrician the next day, he said that radiology said it looked like a nerve sheath tumor (which is not good).  I remember hearing him say this but it did not register until I was leaving the hospital. Even when Dr. Reed said “treat him like the normal and healthy baby he is,” it did not hit me that he was anything different.  I googled what a nerve sheath tumor is and I was reading thinks like “malignant” and “neurofi
Read more

Dads.

Image
     Studies have shown negative effects on girls/women when there is paternal absence and/or disengagement while growing up. I have had abandonment and that has made me have trust issues, specifically with men. I know my past relationships have suffered from this but, I have stayed with people who are unfaithful because I crave that desire to be loved.  It is difficult because at the time, I did not know that I could go somewhere else-or rather I knew, but when you love someone with your whole heart it is really difficult to leave.  I have noticed lack of judgement in my relationships and I believe this is because I have trouble with my self-worth.  (Side bar: even to this day, I am working on it.  I tell my son "Mommy is beautiful" so that I can teach him how women should be treated and called, but I cannot say that I believe it all the time-maybe a post for another day).  I love with my whole heart, and anyone who I do love should be so lucky.  That being said, I have allo
Read more