Different Types of Parents

You may or may not know that I had another son.

I have also been in therapy and I had to stop since it got a little expensive (isnt that funny that mental health isnt taken seriously? Thats a post for another day).  During this therapy I learned a lot even though it was a short amount of time. Grieving my fathers, mom was emotionally...unstable and had her own things to learn and work through, my family has some foggy boundaries and we do not (always) respect them, just to name a few.  I was angry at my mom for a little bit of this time but I have done some healing and got through that pain and how her trauma has affected her.  

Anyways, back to the birth of my second child.  My mom was there; not in the room since it was a c-section, but she was waiting in the lobby.  My oldest sister joined her and she reassured my mom to go.  She left after my fiancee facetimed her so she could see me.

It isn’t that my mom didn’t care to see the baby I just had; it’s that she cared more that I was ok after a major procedure. I think that is the difference in parents and parenting styles. I’m not saying a grandparent who wants to come see their newest addition is bad, I’m saying that it’s that extra care and attention that means a lot.  

My dad...I did not tell him that I was having the baby that day, and in fact, I did not tell him until the next day or two.  He was hurt but when he asked, several times, to see the baby, I brushed it off.  I told him we had visitors (which we did) and I told him I was tired (which I was), but he responded in a way that made me angry and it ultimately hurt me.

           

My step dad has not yet met my son; he keeps saying "we need to meet him" but does not follow through.  

My mom may have a lot of issues and caused a lot of my own problems as an adult (insecurity, anxiousness, eyc); she did the best she could and I know at the end of the day she loves me. She loves me wholeheartedly in the only was she knows how. This doesn’t excuse what problems she has and what she still needs to work through in order to be a better person and parent to me. Yet I know she loves me and she shows it.  She will be there for me and if and when I ever need something, she will never question it but will be there.  If she has doubts or questions she will share them but if whatever happens is something I choose to go through with, then she stands by me.

I am grateful for her.

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