Communication can be a bitch.

What I said: your kid can’t stay here because he broke my stuff, I can’t watch him, and he was hurting my animals. 


What you heard: you’re kid is not safe and unloved at my house. 


What I said: I’m disappointed in you (for not coming to my wedding)


What you heard: I’m disappointed in you for everything you’ve ever done


What you said: we could have communicated about your son if he was doing something 


What I heard: we could have communicated 


What I said: you weren’t there for us to communicate 


What you heard: you’re an absent and bad mother. 


I think past issues really affect effective communication.  There was a huge misunderstanding the day after my wedding with my closest and favorite cousin. I’m not sure we will ever speak again but I do at least want to say my piece. 



You attacked me. What you said was not okay. You put the blame on me. You hurt me. You so quickly turned on me when I was the only one who’s ever had your back for all of these years. You just called to yell at me and I really didn’t need to hear that. What you did was not okay. 

I really wish the conversation would have been better but that was not reciprocated on your side. 


Then, after you yelled at me, you came into my house and started to be loud in front of my kids. Since I have money I can act a certain way-that’s what you said. And that I use your mom. We loved housing your mom. I never charged her for anything in my home and if she were comfortable to stay here again, I would still not charge her for anything. You can act however you want but you cannot disrespect me in front of my kids, in my own house. I worked very hard for what I have and I made a lot of sacrifices. I got really lucky with my chosen family that was able to help me along the way, too. 

For you to speak so poorly about me after all of these years, showed me what kind of person you are. I hope you get the healing you need to be able to have better communication and to have those hard conversations. If you ever want to discuss I’m open to it, if you are able to keep it respectful and not yell at me while alsO giving me a chance to talk. I will give you the same in return. 

There was more I wanted to say but I will keep this one short and sweet. Even after this all, I still am rooting for you and the best for you and your family.

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