Love, me.

A goal that I have for the next year, at least, is to learn to be nicer to myself and my thinking.  I already know that this is going to be extremely hard.  I am very set in my ways and I am an extremely harsh critic of myself which makes something like this difficult.  I love myself, sure.  But what I am saying is that I need to forgive myself-when things mess up, when work stuff happens, when life stuff happens.  Bottom line: things happen and I need to be more caring to myself.  I need to have some more self-reflection about things and realize that sometimes, shit does JUST happen.  
I am a planner.  Everyone who knows me KNOWS that I am a planner.  I like to be on time-this is a big one for me.  I RESPECT peoples time and when I say I will be there AT A TIME then I will be there AT THAT TIME.  I also expect that from people.  It does not bother me for everyone to do it but it bothers me when people close to me do it.  It makes me feel as though my time is not valued.  Whether or not that is the case, that is how I feel.  I never realized why I made this such a big deal in my relationships but after some therapy I found that I have trust issues.  I place high importance on things that people say and time, for some reason, is one of the main things that I focus on.  I am still debating if this is something that I should just let go, or if I should continue to value this.  You see, I feel like someone should stick with what they say, but I also know that sometimes that doesn't happen-and for those moments I am completely aware.  However, when it is a continuous thing then it is hard for me to let THAT go.
I am a planner.  That is part of my Type A personality.  Sometimes the day does not go as planned.  And that is okay.

 

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