The Honest Truth

Life isn't always on a timeline but I am very much a planner.  While there are some things that haven't happened in my life that I feel like should, a lot of other things have.  I went to school, I graduated, I got my credential, I finished my masters, I bought a car, and I bought a condo. I have had this plan for awhile and to be honest, now that I have accomplished it, I feel kind of like "now what."  I am waiting for the next thing that I want to accomplish in order to start planning and setting short term goals to accomplish it-whatever IT is. I am happy to own a home and am so excited and am ready for this next chapter of my life.  Who is going to come visit since all my money will be going into this home??😊

I did a salsa and bachata class tonight and it was so interested and fun and scary. I was completely out of my element and didn’t know what I was doing. I always thought I could get by with dancing but this made me want to get better and try something different. This guy asks me to dance and I remember him from practicing and he was good.  He then tells me to do a head roll and my face just went blank "I don't know what that is..." Luckily he was super nice and showed me; needless to say, when the song was over, he didn't ask for another dance (haha).  I feel like every once in awhile it is good to go out of your way and step out of your element.  We can't grow as people if we stay in the same box that we were given.  What can we accomplish that way?  Ahhh-skkuurrttt to a different topic: I have met very few people who are down to go out of what they're used to and do something completely different but this chick here is a ride or die, like for real. She

Breakups are hard-it comes in waves.  Thats what I tell anyone who asks me.  I am still learning how to deal with not having that someone there all the time-someone who has been there since I was 17.  For me, it comes in parts, though.  The first is not having my best friend; I told you everything and you could always make me laugh-we could do nothing or we could do something.  The second part is that you didnt pick me.  I am having to tell myself that I am  good enough, that it wasn't my fault. I dream about you.  A lot.  I feel like when that happens, it is a setback for me.  I am doing great-not talking to you and sometimes not thinking of you.  But then you pop up in my subconscious-how can I even control that? It is really hard to be so vulnerable to a population of people who: 1) are strangers, 2) I haven't talked to or heard from in forever, 3) who know you AND me, 4) are nosy bitches and just want all the chisme. To be honest, I wrote this post daayyyss ago

The longest I have been in love is 10 years. The love of my life is 10 years old.  Now, I have three nieces total, and one nephew but my youngest niece is the one who I’ve loved the longest. I like I have to teach her things in life that society has imposed on her that she should or should not do. For example, we will randomly dance in the middle of anywhere we are and even though I am embarrassed I will never let her know because I want her to feel like she can dance wherever and whenever she wants without feeling judged. One of the things I would like to pride myself in his teaching her to be comfortable in her own shoes. She has a mother and a father and step parents who I am sure help with this self confidence that she has, but if I can help out in anyway then I will. I want her to know that she is not just beautiful but she is smart and she is capable and she can do whatever she wants and she can dance wherever she wants if that is what she wants.  A lot of the time we are

Last night I saw Avengers: Endgame.  I wont say anything else because spoilers. Anyways, I ate tacos and had ice cream and it was fun; it is nice to just not think about work and the 1 million things I still have to do but just enjoy myself.  Surprisingly it is a lot harder to write about the things going well in my life, maybe that is because I view myself as more pessimistic so the negative is easier? But I will do my best to convey that yesterday was fun, and yummy, and what I needed. (Side note: I cant remember what happened or what was said but I thought of you; I guess I am not as over it as I thought.. .that is a post for another day though 😉)