Addison Montgomery is the only specialist I want checking me out.

 But alas, I do not get that luxury. 

If you haven't kept up with me, I am indeed16 weeks pregnant.  I have to see a perinatologist every week for the next 10 weeks due to my autoimmune condition; Sjogren's can cause blockages in the baby's heart and which can cause him have a low heart rate.  I had my first appointment today and I did not realize how scared I was until I parked my car with 15 minutes to spare.  I felt my stomach tighten; if there is something wrong, there is nothing I can do.  Essentially it is my fault if Baby M has issues, but my condition is not preventable so I don't blame myself for whatever happens.  However, it does not mean I am not nervous and scared.  That's my baby and something can happen to him that I cannot do anything about. 
 I am focusing on the good, though, and he is healthy.  Everything looks good and normal.  The heart looks great: blood flow, the rate, the size, everything.  I am happy that he is well and safe.  I still need to do follow ups to make sure he is developing normally so for the next few weeks I will be going to check on him.  At least I can see him; and apparently my placenta is in the back which means I can start to feel him sooner (2-4 weeks) since he is closer to my skin.  Exciting, but I will be mad if he keeps me up at night more then he already does :) haha; I have to pee all the time now which I did not think would happen until later on but I am good.  So far second trimester is the best-my energy is relatively back to normal and so is my appetite.  I am just happy that he is healthy right now and that is something to be grateful for💓


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Different Types of Parents

Image
You may or may not know that I had another son. I have also been in therapy and I had to stop since it got a little expensive (isnt that funny that mental health isnt taken seriously? Thats a post for another day).  During this therapy I learned a lot even though it was a short amount of time. Grieving my fathe rs, mom was emotionally...unstable and had her own things to learn and work through, my family has some foggy boundaries and we do not (always) respect them, just to name a few.  I was angry at my mom for a little bit of this time but I have done some healing and got through that pain and how her trauma has affected her.   Anyways, back to the birth of my second child.  My mom was there; not in the room since it was a c-section, but she was waiting in the lobby.  My oldest sister joined her and she reassured my mom to go.  She left after my fiancee facetimed her so she could see me. It isn’t that my mom didn’t care to see the baby I just had; it’s that she cared more that I was
Read more

Cellular Myofibroma

Image
  My baby had a tumor.  He had surgery to get it removed and he is okay.  It was non-cancerous. I just thought I should get all of that info out of the way because some people might just want that. Now, here is the story: Around late December 2023, Abuela noticed that Martin Julian had a bump on his chest above his right nipple.  I sent the doctor a picture late that night and said it was not something I noticed before.  We got an appointment 2-3 days later.  He then referred us to get an ultrasound and this took about two weeks to schedule.  At the appointment with our pediatrician the next day, he said that radiology said it looked like a nerve sheath tumor (which is not good).  I remember hearing him say this but it did not register until I was leaving the hospital. Even when Dr. Reed said “treat him like the normal and healthy baby he is,” it did not hit me that he was anything different.  I googled what a nerve sheath tumor is and I was reading thinks like “malignant” and “neurofi
Read more

Sigh of Relief

Image
  I quit my job this week.  It was no longer bringing me happiness and sense of fulfillment that I first had.  My district expects a lot, which I can 100% keep up with, but when my work is being questioned with absolutely no reason and everything I do is being nitpicked then I cannot stay around and just take it. I was displaced this year-both of my classrooms closed down so I was having to go back into a SDC Pre-K classroom.  Instead of giving me, a teacher who has been there 7 years, priority over placement, the district hired new teachers and with 2 and 1/2 weeks before work started, I still do not know where I am going.  I reached out to the head of special education, directors, union reps and the president, and the department of early childhood with no response.  I was disrespected after everything I did for the district and my students.  I was made to feel unimportant. and my work was not valued; I was not valued.   The school district is a business-this is what someone just tol
Read more